For me the key to writing a good blog is having the right dishwashing soap. No, the key (my key, anyway) is having no idea what you are going to say and then voila, it appears anyway. Having an incredibly boring life with nothing to do and no friends is also a key to successful blog writing. Many many many years ago, Dean Martin (Dean Who?) had a very successful record (record? what's a record, Dad?) called, "Everybody Falls In Love With Someone." The second line was "Everybody falls in love some time." How do I remember shit like this that's probably 30 or more years old? Because given the contemporary vacuum of my life my mind  goes backwards in time trying to pick up things it can remember, thus proving it has some sort of function and could not just be surgically removed making no difference to the patient. I, for example, could never remember the title of that song if I didn't have a mind, though this is one of the examples I use when I try to convince my shrink that I have Dementia.

The choice of that particular song is not coincidental. Actually, I hated it when it came out and have always hated it, especially when sung by Dean Martin in his half-drunk delivery. I mean when you really analyze and deconstruct it, what it's saying is that we all need someone we can lean on. Leaning on a 30 year old horrible song is pathetic but so it falling off the deck of the ship.

The previous two paragraphs were supposed to offer some sort of insight into my secretly held art of blahhgwriting, but now that I have written them I cannot for the life of me think of what it was except for this, which may be sort of brilliant: it doesn't matter what it is, but whatever you do, take up space. Once you take up space some asshole will feel obliged to respond to whatever you said even if it's just to call you an asshole and you can respond, "Your Mother," and we're off and running with a meaningful debate.  That's why blogs are such an important addition to the intellectual temperature (rectal) of our time.