Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Just one addendum. I just looked at the count of how many people are reading. 0 was (quite justifiably) the number most often seen. There were 42 readers on the day I announced I was going to do this, a lot of 2's and 3's and for some reason I cannot fathom, one 16. Given my current twitter followers count of 290 and the unlikelihood of anyone who does not at least marginally know the style of my wit or half-wit depending on your opinion, it would seem to me virtually impossible to get this thing into consistent double numbers. I may regard this as a reason to stop, with apologies to my fan (but I tried) or it may bring out the "fuck it. I am doing this because I am doing this" part of my personality, which again is really more my shrink's business than yours. Looking at it from this point of view (perhaps slightly influenced by my daughter's comment about my looking sad), if being read is the goal, I can start cranking up the wit machine and possibly get to over 300, something I have never achieved. And in a way the tweets are more to a point than the blaahg. And then there is the novel that this may be interfering with the writing of--or not-- it is just so much harder. Were I not writing the blaahg there is as much chance that I would not be writing the novel at all, rather than attacking it in fits and starts as I am now. Go have dinner.
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You're a brilliant kvetch and delicious to read. Diaries, like relationships, require nurturing. And like some naughty relationships, require anonymity. And you are being very very naughty, yet you are not anonymous, nor to you want to be. You know all about gardens and such; the pleasure received from hard work and the anticipation of beauty. But you can't just toss seeds to the wind, so to speak, and expect anything except, perhaps, dandelions, some sort of worty weed, and seed hulls (those damn birds). It's tough when you think you're talking to yourself. Like masturbation, how many times can you do it in a day before it starts to hurt? Anyhow, I am not going to beg you to continue when it is torture for you to do so. You deserve an audience, you've had an audience but, I believe (and I know I am being incredibly presumptuous here) you still need a place to rant and spew and not have to worry, will it sell? You're not being rejected. You haven't been found.
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